


You are not poison (you are the soul I hold most dear)

by AlgaLenn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Coda, Episode: s09e10 Road Trip, Fluff, Gift, Headcanon, M/M, Not Beta Read, Not Really Important, Post 9x10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-10 20:36:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1164268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlgaLenn/pseuds/AlgaLenn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Dean leaves Cas and Sam on the pier, the younger Winchester asks the angel to go after him and make sure he is okay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You are not poison (you are the soul I hold most dear)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reichenbach_riots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reichenbach_riots/gifts).



> This was a gift for reichenbach_riots, so it's unbeta'd (I'm only posting it because I may try to write another fic related to this one).

Castiel had been driving behind the Impala for an hour now. He was waiting for Dean to stop, but the hunter didn't seem to notice him.

Only five minutes after Dean had left him with Sam at the pier, the younger Winchester had told him to go after him. The angel had been able to see, without a doubt, that Sam was worried about Dean as much as he was. They were brothers after all. The problem was that Sam wasn't going to go after him, they both had made a decision, which left Castiel in his current situation. Looking after Dean Winchester, perching on his shoulder, as it always seemed to be.

Castiel wasn't complaining about that. He had stopped complaining about it a long time ago. Dean was his friend and the angel was always going to be there for him. _I always come when you call,_ he remembered bitterly. He would have done anything for that to stay truth. He would have done whatever was necessary to be with Dean on the hospital after the angels fell... But he hadn't been there and he had thought Sam and Dean were better off without him... and he had tried to live a normal life, tried to forget what he felt for the older hunter. He had been selfish, extremely selfish.

The angel gripped the steering wheel tighter, his knuckles turning white. He was angry with himself. Everything had been his fault, after all. The angels falling, Gadreel possessing Sam, Kevin's death. It had been _his_ fault, not Dean's, and now the human with the most pure soul he had had the honor to lay eyes on was saying he was poison, was sure he was returning to hell once he had died. Castiel blamed himself for that too.

The truth was that Castiel had been trying to create a normal life during his time as a human only to forget what he felt for Dean Winchester. He had always been sure his feelings were unrequited. When he was an angel, it was easier to control them, pretend they weren't there making his heart race every time the hunter looked at him I the eyes. As a human, it hadn't been so easy and that was why he had made that selfish decision and tried to forget. Of course, it hadn't worked. The only thing Cas didn't understand completely was why now was still so hard for him to ignore his feelings, why his heart had ached with such a force when Dean had walked away from him and Sam. He was an angel again, right? Maybe it was because now he knew how it felt to be human...

Castiel was analyzing that hypothesis when he noticed something was wrong. Dean was accelerating and his car was running out of gas again. Soon it was going to stop completely. He pressed the honk, signaling the hunter to stop, but he didn't seem to notice. The angel thought for a second, he didn't have much time left. 

Wings. Broken wings, practically featherless wings at the moment, but wings after all. It was risky, it was the most stupid idea he could have had, but it was his only chance. He needed to fly to the car. The distance wasn't too big, he could do it. He could do it for Dean. It was worth for his human.

Castiel flew.

And he fell.

He fell on the side of the road, a few meters away from the Impala, which stopped immediately.

His sight was getting blurred. Castiel could see a dark shape running towards him. He thought he had heard someone shouting his name.

The angel passed out.

\---

Castiel woke up in a bed. His whole body ached, since he didn't seem to have enough power to heal himself after his act of stupidness. There was something cold and wet in his forehead. A cloth. The angel took it and sat down to find that he was alone in the room. He quickly was able to tell it was a motel.

The door of the room opened a minute later and Dean entered with a paper bag in his hands, that probably contained food. Said bag was quickly forgotten and fell to the floor when the hunter laid eyes on Castiel. "Thanks God, Cas!" He ran to the angel's side and put a hand on his forehead. "You okay, man? When I left you you were burning up. What the hell happened?" The blue-eyed man took the hunter's hand and place it on the mattress, trying to hide the pain he was feeling. He didn't want to worry Dean more. "I'm fine, Dean. I tried to land inside the Impala. It looks like I've underestimated how damaged my wings are." He tried to stand up, but Dean didn't let him. "You were following me?" Castiel nodded. "Sam told me to do it and I... I wanted to make sure you weren't going to do anything stupid" 

Dean chuckled and took the cloth from were Castiel had left it. He wiped away a little bit of dried blood from the angel's nose. "Look who's talking." The hunter was way too close, Castiel could feel his breathing. "You need to rest, Cas." Dean said stepping away, but the angel gripped his wrist to stop him from moving further. "I need to tell you something first." Dean just stared at the brunette, confused. "You are _not_ poison." He pulled the hunter closer. "And you are most certainly _not_ going back to hell." Dean freed his hand from Castiel's grip, but he didn't moved away, instead, he just looked down. "See? You're being delusional, just sleep a few hours, could you?"

Castiel was too tired to deal with an stubborn Winchester. The angel shook his head and rolled his eyes. He cupped Dean's face and made him look at his eyes. "You are not. Don't you dare say that you are poison, ever again. You have no idea how hard it is hearing the soul I rescued from hell, that soul I hold most dear, think so little of himself." Castiel hadn't been thinking what he was saying, he just... said it and Dean was completely lost right now. "But, Cas, I a-" No, the angel wasn't going to hear those words again, he kissed Dean Winchester to stop him from hurting him more. Another selfish decision.

Castiel pulled away immediately, seeing that Dean wasn't kissing him back. Just as he had always thought that was going to happen. What had he been expecting? "I-I'm sorry, Dean. I shouldn't have done that." The angel said, looking away. Those words seemed to bring the hunter back to reality. "Why did you do it?" It was a real question, Dean was more than confused by the angel's actions. Castiel sighed. "Why do you think? I love you, Dean Winchester."

They were silent for what seemed like hours, unable to look at each other. Then, Dean started to laugh.

"What is so funny?" Castiel asked, furrowing his eyebrows in annoyance. Just what he needed. The hunter laughing at him for being in love with him. Dean laughed harder. "You love me." More laugher. "You... You love me. You, Castiel, Angel of The Lord, love me." He leaned closer. "I can't believe it. I must be dreaming." Castiel was the one confused now. "I can assure you, Dean, this is not a dream and I will be thankful if you stop laughing at me." Dean stopped, suddenly aware of his behavior. "I'm not laughing at you, Cas! I'm laughing at myself. God, I really am stupid."

This time it was Dean who started the kiss. He closed the distance between him and Castiel in an instant, catching the angel by surprise. His hands found it's place in the back of the angel's neck and Castiel's arms wrapped around his waist to pull him closer, ignoring how sore his muscles were. It was a tender kiss, slow and long. Their lips exploring each other's with controlled passion. The green-eyed man pushed Castiel slowly, making him lie on the bed, never breaking the kiss. Then he let his weight fall on top of the angel's body. Castiel whimpered in pain. Dean pulled away quickly.

"Sorry." The angel said, blushing. Dean got out of the bed and caressed Castiel's cheek with his thumb. "It's okay, Cas. You need to rest." The other man nodded slightly and closed his eyes. It was the best he could do to let his grace work slowly on his injuries. "Dean..." He started to say, but the hunter hushed him. "I know, angel, I'm not poison." Dean believed that now. He didn't only say it because that was what Castiel wanted. He really thought it was true. After all, God would have never let one of his angels fall in love with him if he was. Castiel smiled and, after a few seconds, he was asleep.


End file.
